Howzat? 0.2 / 6

“Mums, we’ve all been there. Your kids are playing up and you need to send them to the naughty corner.”

Have I accidentally stumbled into a time machine and now we find ourselves in the 1970s, surrounded by the unapologetic patriarchy? WTF! I’ve not even pressed play and already this new show from Audio Always has got my back up. And as a dad, I want to throw my laptop against the wall. 

Anyway, let’s have a listen. Maybe I’m too quick to judge…

FUCK. It’s worse than I thought. It’s as if a Mancunian stereotype has been bred with a bottle of prosecco. Pop goes the fucking weasel… and it’s a lot to take in. 

Charlotte Dawson (daughter of the comedian Les Dawson) and an intolerable woman called Janine Marsh basically get pissed (“let’s open up the fizz because I think it will help with the honesty…”) and share parenting woes. But if this is meant to challenge Parenting Hell for the mantle of best parenting podcast, it’s lacking in so many areas. 

The first 5 minutes is jam-packed with (waaaaaay) too many adverts and these two yammering on about how excited they are to be hosting this car crash of an “entertainment” show. Then, it’s followed by several anecdotes (some of which are inaudible) that are as dull as an accountancy conference (we used to have a ‘reet laugh, we don’t anymore… am I reet?!’). 

How long did I have to wait until they referred to me, the listener?

15 minutes. FIFTEEN MINUTES! That is absolutely not acceptable and, frankly, takes the piss.  

At 15 minutes and 41 seconds, Dawson coyly says, “Next, it’s all about you…” Oh me, oh my. How nice of you to acknowledge that we exist. I didn’t listen on.

New ‘prosecco poppers’ beware: they don’t care about you, or your stories. They care about making themselves laugh and ‘aving a good ol’ natter. It’s solipsistic to the max. They’ve set up a podcast that only they wanted to listen to and it’s an all-too-common trap to fall into in the largely unregulated world of podcasting. 

I understand what they’re trying to do but I’m surprised that Audio Always – an establishment that has made a ton of great stuff – have allowed this one to breach their editorial red lines. 

If you want something to listen to, to share the horrors and joys of parenting, stick to Parenting Hell. It’s the OG for a reason. 

This, unfortunately, isn’t even the gangster’s assistant. It’s waiting in the back of the gangster’s people carrier cackling into the void. POP!

GF