Howzat? 0.9 / 6

The world’s largest known lollipop stands at 5ft 11in tall and weighs in at a whopping 500,134 stone in California, which equates to a hell of a lot of sugar. And if I ate this lollipop, accompanied by a vat of full fat coke, it probably wouldn’t taste as sickly as Exhibit A – the new podcast hosted by former model and current scouser, Abbey Clancy – sounds. 

Now, that may sound harsh. And it is, but there’s solid reasoning behind the critique. If this episode is anything to go by, the format of the show is cut-and-paste at best; and completely void of any character or originality at worst. Sorry Abbey, but without your hubby Peter, there is no valid reason to listen to this show.  

Let’s start with the introduction – it’s a blatant knock off of Stephen Bartlett’s Diary of a CEO – in that the edit is too intense, offers nothing of note and, quite frankly, puts you off the rest of the show. Note to the editor – if you’re going to try and hook us in, the bait is important – this is the equivalent of trying to catch a shark with an After Eight mint. It wastes everyone’s time.  

In this particular episode, Clancy “interviews” Elizabeth Hurley, who, apart from being the ex-girlfriend of Australian spin bowler Shane Warne and part-time actor, sounds like an exact replica of Clancy but grew up in the nicer bit of town. 

And the interview itself is weird. When the conversation kicks off “proper” with some quick-fire questions, Clancy sounds like she’s a teenager who has won a radio competition to ask the local celebrity questions on-air. They’re all over the place and knitted so closely together, there is very little space for anyone to wrap their heads around what’s going on. They’re too quick-fire:

‘What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?’ GO! ‘If you could wear one outfit every day for the rest of your life, what would it be?” BAM! ‘Is there one role you wished you’d played in your career?’ YIKES! ‘A moment that changed your outlook on life…[not even a question?] PLEASE LET IT STOP!

Exhibit A has all the hallmarks of an ill-conceived, hubristic, celebrity-based, mutual wankfest. Marvellous, this ain’t. Sigh.   

GF