Howzat? 1.5 / 6

Oh bollocks, Wondery have done it again. 

For some reason, the podcasting powerhouse – owned by Amazon, of course – absolutely loves mixing scripted documentary formats with ad hoc, banterific chat but come off it guys, it sounds so, so… confusing. 

And that’s a little heartbreaking because on paper, this show has all its ducks in a row: 

• Solid, D-list comedian presenter talent in the shape of Colin Murray and Elis James, tick! 

• Incredible stories from the world of sport, tick! 

• Excitable, over-emotional Wondery-esque production and sound design, tick!

But listening to this initial episode chronicling the professional career of the irrepressible England footballer Wayne Rooney, all that promise flops out of the window, like an unstable Michael Jackson with a baby in hand. 

This has all the hallmarks of an overproduced, over-analysed Hollywood flop, rather than an organic, funny, free-flowing podcast driven by people who want to be there. Murray and James are brilliant on BBC 5 Live but you wouldn’t know it.

Here, on Everything To Play For, it sounds like they’ve been forced to sit down in the same room as each other by their agents, which, in turn, exposes the show for what it us – a corporate, formulaic jigsaw puzzle, designed to beef up network numbers more than anything else.

I either want James and Murray to have complete freedom to produce the show themselves, or I want them to read a gripping script with emotive sound design and clarity of voice. This is neither. At one point, James rifts around Rooney buying a house at the age of 17 (a debate one may hear on 5 Live) but then Murray goes into a scripted read with music blaring underneath. Arrghhh!  

There are some nice little touches which I do like, such as hearing commentary clips from Wayne Rooney’s first Premier League goal and Murray insisting that James personally titles each episode at the beginning.

But it’s just not enough to make me subscribe. 

It’s mainly the editors I feel for because it must have been a nightmare to craft a tight narrative framework from hours of unscripted babble.

Unfortunately, anything written here won’t change Wondery’s (wholly American driven) editorial path. And just like Rooney at the 2010 World Cup in South Africa, for all the promise and pomp, it’s all hot air and no spunk.