Howzat? 3.2 / 6

We need to talk about Stephen Bartlett.

Let’s start with the blindingly obvious. The man cares not for his guests or their “journey”. What he actually cares about is marketing. And fair play to the man, he’s made a career building up a God-like myth around his business acumen (“Happy Sexy Millionaire”, anyone?) and a Diary of a CEO sucks up all of his arrogance and spits it out at once.   

Most of the arrogant spittle is concentrated in the opener. Like the title of the episode, it’s way too long and, quite frankly, overbearing. Fuck, this is an annoying start to the episode. It’s like sitting next to an American with ADHD on a train – being constantly bombarded with a stream of frankly appalling noise with “essential” snippets of the interview plotted along the way. By the time Rebel Wilson settles into her role as guest / [plugger of latest project], your brain wants to give up and retreat to a Swiss clinic.. 

All is not lost, however. Despite the obvious flaws, Rebel Wilson is, surprisingly, a refreshing sorbet of a voice that cuts through the production dirge and has a genuinely fascinating life story to tell: who knew the comedic actor was some sort of child prodigy who nearly became a lawyer, only pursuing acting after a malaria-induced fever dream? Very difficult to believe after watching ‘Senior Year’, but there you go. 

Bartlett’s questions are less questions, more sententious reasoning around his own experiences. Yet, Rebel plays along and even admits at one stage that she’s a fan of the podcast, stopping just shy of fangirling over his domineering murmurs. This is a (very) popular podcast and there’s no denying that if you want to get fantastic access to some of the world’s biggest celebrities and thinkers then this show will deliver week-on-week. 

However, if this podcast was a person, it would be an ironic basic bitch, the type of person who insists that their birthday lasts for a month. You know the type, loud as a motorbike but wouldn’t crush a grape in a fruit fight.* 

SM

*Many thanks Jay-Z.